We Focus Hard: On The Wrong Thing

Have you ever caught yourself saying some of those mantras?

I don’t want to mess up.

I don’t want to disappoint so and so.

I don’t want to lose my job.

I don’t want to sit on the bench.

I don’t want to play XYZ position.

I don’t want to lose the match.

I don’t want to get cut from the team.

I don’t want to be broke.

I don’t want to be sad.

I don’t want to be lonely.

I don’t want to be sick.

I don’t want to be like my mother/ father/ sibling.

I don’t want to die.

I don’t want this voice, nose, hair, body.

I don’t want to be fat.

I don’t want to be lazy.

I’m sure you have said some of these statements over and over again in your head. All of us have done this from time to time and continue to do so—even when we don’t notice what we’re telling ourselves.

Most of the time we focus and work too hard on things we DO NOT want instead of shifting our full focus, intention, and vision on things we do WANT.

I consistently work on eliminating things I don’t want out of my mind and vocabulary and put my focus on things I do want!

What you put your attention on grows.

We are culturally taught to fight a negative mentally—thinking that if we do so a positive will automatically come to us. It doesn’t work that way.

The more you dwell on what you don’t want, the more of it you create.

The things about yourself or your life that you dislike are probably still there.

Negative affirmations and goals become your reality just like the positive ones.

Here are few examples: “I don’t want to get cut from the team.” In this example all your focus is in being cut, not playing, not being worthy of the team. With those thoughts your actions on the court justify that—you are timid, stiff, stressed and every time you make a bad play you further confirm your fears and fall into bottomless pit: I don’t want to get cut. Or, because of this, I’ll get cut. I suck. I’m not good enough to be on the team.

Now if you say: I want to make XYZ team; I want to be XYZ position; I would be great fit for XYZ team; I trust my skill; this serve will get me there; This block/ pass / set will get me closer to my goal—This mindset and these messages put a whole new twist on your performance, motivation, attitude, posture, and energy.

Just like that you go from a LOSING to WINNING mindset:

Here are few other examples:

I don’t want to be sick VS. I want to be healthy.

I don’t want to be broke VS. I want to be wealthy.

I don’t want to be out of shape VS. I want to be in great shape.

What you don’t want leads to self-pity and lack of desire to change your circumstances. Instead, we look for affirmation of our beliefs and justify our poor outcomes by creating excuses.

What you want leads to internal motivation on making massive action, brings fresh energy as you work toward your goals, and helps you create a road moving towards what is that you WANT! Suddenly the entire world starts opening to you: books you come across, people who are on the same path, coaches and mentors, tools etc…

We manifest and attract what we desire.

This shift in thinking is absolutely life changing—only when you consciously and consistently practice it. Is it expensive to do this? No, it’s free. Is it easy? No. Is it worth it? Yes. Does it take time? Yes.

And if you are about to say: Yes, but… please don’t. 😂

No Excuses!

Remember, you have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving yourself and see what happens. -Louise Hay You can heal your life